This family is truly my inspiration for adopting again!

 

I had doubts about adopting again and the reasons are mostly monetary.

Yet when money was my hindurance in my past three adoptions, I still found somehow a way.

 

This family reminds me why we sometimes we are led to adopt!   I hope they inspire others as well!

 

 

 

Today is Nikolai's sixth gotcha day.  In 2002, the 30 day wait was usually waived, by regional judges.  Nikolai had a pretty serious infection on his face (which was infected excezma) so his wait was waived and he was officially our newest son on June 18, 2002, at 14 months old.

 

Nikolai eating fish stock with mashed potatoes and bread (yes it was a gross as it sounds).  (yes that is a baby mohawk)

 

Of course I have to include a picture of him using the toilet buckets

 

 

Here is taking his first walk outside rapper style with the oversized pacifier

 

First Night out of the orphanage /  Getting revenge on the comb after his first bath

 

leaving Kramatorsk on the train

 

Giving a raspberry

 

Good bye Ukraine...good bye Masha                  Hello Warsaw Poland

 

 

And Nikolai now at seven

Happy Gotcha Day Nikolai!!!

 

 

Today at work, I was talking with two of my co-workers both moms.  We had just seen a picture of a new grandbaby and they began to rehash their birthing experiences.

 

The first mom ( a mother of six) stated she never had a natural birth and always had meds.  She could not stand pain!

 

The second mom ( a mom of two) said that due to unforseen circumstances, she had her last one natural and it was very painful.  She then shuddered remembering the experience.

 

I looked at them and said, "My pain involved getting on a plane and having a nice glass of wine!"

 

There are definitely perks to adoption!

 

 

We are still here just a bit busy if you want to see some updates of the kids go here!  http://thecabbagepatchkids.blogspot.com/

I will update the blog over the weekend with new families..

Today I contacted my last homestudy agency.  The previous two times I used two other agencies.  Each increased dramatically in price, so I searched for others.  In the homestudy international independent business, you the adopter have every right to find the cheapest price.  Trust me, they all do the same homestudy in the end.

 

The prices of my first homestudy were $1200 then $700 (updated since used them before) to our 2006 adoption which cost $500!  Then today same social worker wants $950.  It has been three years since the last homestudy.  I guess it is valid but I still will check other agencies.  They only do the homestudy.   I am not hiring them for the adoption.

 

Then I checked the prices at Immigration.  WOW, they have gone up since the first adoption which was around $400.  The cost eight years later is $670!  Talk about government inflation.  I work for the government.  The only thing that has changed is the cost, same paperwork- LOL!  Crazy!

 

The INS price for fingerprints is $80 per adult.  (which has risen).  So total for fingerprints and one hour drive to INS= 200.00

 

We have to get a passport for Oksana.  I am guessing it is $140.

 

So total costs to begin are about $2000, a bit above our US tax rebate, but not a lot so we are on target so far.  When I pay the first dollar towards the adoption, then you will know we are doing it...

 

We will see...

Last week our search for Nikolai's bio family was successful to some extent.  The Aunt was located in a little town outside of Donetsk.  There is a grandmother but she could not be located on the day of the search.  We also were informed of two brothers who were adopted to a spanish family, about three years ago.  Unfortunately, the bio mom is deceased tragically at a young age.  We had some questions answered and are glad for the closure.  I posted some pictures here http://thecabbagepatchkids.blogspot.com/ under May 15.

 

My big regret is that we did not do the searches for both boys earlier.  Perhaps then we might have learned a little more from both of the bio mom's.   A good friend told me something that I think is very true.  This is an important part of their lives whether they remember or not.  This is their history and important for them to know when they are ready.  I am going to search for the brothers at some point.  I would love to see what they look like and if they are as cute as Nik  

 

If anyone can assist on the Spanish adoption boards I would be grateful!

 

Leanna~

 

 

 

 

We had hired a man named Gene to search for the biological families of Nik and Vitaly.  He drove 1600 miles in four days from Kramatorsk to Ternopil and back this week. 

 

Today, I went to check my email and my heart stopped.  There were seven messages from him.  Unopened in front of me were five emails with attachments and the words:  Pictures.

 

Pictures!

 

My hands began to tremble and tears welled in my eyes, as I opened an email that read “report” and began to devour the information. 

 

It was all about the history of Vitaly’s biological heritage and the people that surrounded it.  I began to cry.  Tears ran down my face as I absorbed more and more information of the family:  A great grandmother, a grandfather, a grandmother, a half sister and a half brother, an Aunt, a mother.

 

There were pictures of a little town outside of Ternopil, where they live with a beautiful church.  Pictures of a little girl with eyes of amber just like Vitaly’s.  Pictures of a great-grandmother and her home, who was very excited to learn of Vitaly and so happy we had contacted them.  There were many more pictures of other family members. 

 

Some of the information is sad.  To protect my son I will not disclose the full story, but I will tell you unfortunately his mother is deceased at a very young age.  I will tell you that the great-grandmother and his sister are filled with joy that we contacted them.  I can’t wait to tell them more about him!  I am so excited we did this search.  I encourage every family to do this for your child.  It is invaluable.  It finally opens a door that hid so many mysteries. 

 

I did download some pictures here  http://thecabbagepatchkids.blogspot.com/

 

If you want more information about the wonderful man that did our search please email me at boomerseyler@yahoo.com

 

Leanna~

Rumour has it that we might be adopting again...

Maybe ..

Life is full of surprises.. I already had three...

What are your thoughts? 

Tonight at dinner I decided to say what my children's names would have been if we went with Americanized names.

 

When we first began our adoption in Russia we reearched lots of names for our "only child"

I like non-traditional names and even have a Russian name myself.

 

We decided  to look into actual Russian names.  We decided that if the Russian name fell into a list of names we liked we would not change it.

Our reserve name was Nikolai Allen (Larry's middle name and his mom's maiden name)

 

When we met Vitaly we loved his name.  So we kept it and he became Vitaly Allen.

 

When we went to adopt N, we were again going to decide by the name whether we would change or not.

 

His given name was Konstatine or known as Kostya.  Not an easy name to say, so we decided our first name Nikolai and his given middle name were perfect so he became Nikolai Alexander.

 

Our chosen girl's name was actually to name her after our wonderful facilitator Masha.  We really wanted to dedicate our namesake to her as she is our "gaurdian angel" in our adoptions.  After a long process, we decided to keep her given name for a few factors....

 

First Vitaly's bio mom was named Oksana and she was from Odessa

Oksana was from Odessa so it almost seemed a full circle

Oksana means Xenia as well and we grew up with a Xenia zip code.

Elizabeth has many histories in my family and my grandma's name, so she became Oksana Elizabeth.

 

Tonight we were talking and I said if I had given each one a traditional american name what would it have been?

 

Allen Robert for Vitaly ( my dad's middle name)

Harry Alexander (this is actually what we called Nik at the beginning because he had lots of "hair" and it began to stick)

Elizabeth Susan (and called her Ellie)  (Susan was my mom's name)

 

Anyway it was fun to rehash what if's.

 

If we adopt another girl Larry already has the name picked out....

 

What are your reasons for your names?

 

Leanna

http://thecabbagepatchkids.blogspot.com/

 

 

I am thrilled that some of my blogging friends have summer travel appointments to Ukraine.

 

I traveled in June 2002, here were my observations back THEN:

 

It could be cool some evenings and very warm the next,  bring a jacket or sweater

Shorts were not worn by locals but if that is what you are comfortable in bring them.  You are going to stand out anyway.

Women cannot wear shorts in church so bring a skirt

There is very little air conditioning in regions.  Places you might find it... McDonalds or the superduper grocery market!

We spent many days cooling down in McDonald land

If you stay in an apartment you might need to purchase a fan.  Leave it behind for the owner or next guest

Bring shorts (stressing this for those that get hot).  It doesn't matter in the long run and you will feel much better when it is hot!

Bring summer shoes if that is sandals that walk for miles great!  If it is tennis shoes then that is alright too. 

 Many tennis shoes were for sale and worn in UA in the summer.

Dont bring white clothing.  It will turn a dingy brown from the water.

Plan for some evenings out at the cafes and people watching.

The orphanages will dress the children in fifty layers whether summer or winter, they will expect you to take your baby

out with the same amount of clothes.  We just smiled and jestered and were able to sneak away with shorts and a shirt and no COAT!

Last have fun and enjoy your UA days! 

 

 

 

 

I was sad to read two more families have had their Ukraine adoptions destroyed by the SDA.

 

One family was a fellow Ohio family and I was very excited we would meet after their adoption, but sadly

the SDA destroyed another dream and another child will remain without a family.  http://zimnesfamily.blogspot.com/

 

A second family had waited for their next appointment in the states and now they too have no more hope, as the SDA has

decided against giving them a second appointment.   http://reedukrainejourney.blogspot.com

 

I have seen UA adoptions for over eight years.  This is troubling to me.  Yes the old NAC mentioned no young kids, but just sending

a family home with no child, that makes no sense to a country with thousands of children.

 

Sad day for each family and sadder for a child waiting and wondering if a family will ever come.

Searching

 

I have begun the task of searching for a Birth Parent for two of my childen

I know two out of three of my children's bio moms I may locate but,

unfortunately one will probably never be found

I know one has four siblings

I know one has a twelve year old brother

I know one was the supposed first born

I know one only has a possible name and nothing more

I know two have a paper written by their bio mom with information about who they were and reasons they gave them up

I know one may be a true orphan, left without anything, no information about why, who, what or how,  she just left after giving birth

I don't know what I will find?

But I am beginning, only because I know I would want to know  and so will my children this journey is for them...

 

So would you search? 

 

It was a sunny day in Ukraine and we waited patiently with our facilitator as the Judge decided we were now the parents

of a little girl in Odessa Orphanage Number 3.

 

We had gone to Ukraine to adopt a "special Needs" child with a physical handicap.

 

We knew there were many wonderful children that were mentally fine and only having a physical abnormality.

We were shown many children but the NAC really wanted us to meet a beautiful little girl with blonde hair and blue blue eyes, with a small cleft lip and palate.

 

I was so scared on the 12 hour train ride to Odessa.  How would I react to seeing the little girl?

What if the little girl was worse then we knew?  What if we could not adopt her?

When Oksana came into the Directors office my back was too her.

I heard my husband say "Hi Oksana" and I almost fainted. I said to
myself react the way you are supposed to and it will work out.
Then I slowly turned and there was the most beautiful "SN" child I
had ever seen. Sure she had a small cleft lip but that did not
deter me from the big blue eyes, shy glance and small fingers that
grasped her caregivers hand in sheer fright of these strangers.

I thanked God for giving me the strength to see the heart of the
child and the shell that just needed a little mending. At that
moment I knew that perhaps my soul needed a little mending as well.
It was a wake me up that said perhaps I needed to quit judging a
child by its outer shell and see the Angel within. Too many times
we go into the adoption with the notion of what society thinks is
the perfect child when perhaps the perfect child is like us all with
small imperfections needing a few bandages.

After court we headed to the hospital where they had just finished repairing her lip, the day before.

 In a filthy hospital crib laid a scared little girl all bandaged around
her mouth.   She had no pain meds, but did not cry.

I looked down and she looked at me as if too say WHY? I
grabbed her hand and she stared at me with those eyes and in that
instance I knew.. This is what it is all about. The eyes and soul
of a child needing love and reassurance that tomorrow will be a
better day.  I said to her you do not understand yet, but today you have a mommy and daddy and two brothers
and two dogs. Today you have a family. Today you became my
daughter. I think she understood because her scared little eyes
never left mine and her fingers never loosened.

And at that moment, I finally understood what it meant to have a
daughter.  Two years later, I cannot imagine a day without her.

 

Happy Gotcha Day Princess Oksana!  We have been truly blessed by you.

Leanna
http://thecabbagepatchkids.blogspot.com/

Not end of our story, but the beginning of another…

 

Two years ago, Larry and I were informed on a Sunday that we needed to be in Ukraine, by that Wednesday, so we that we could have the last appointment day of the National Adoption Center in Kyiv, before they closed their doors to forever.

 

On March 28, 2006, we departed Ohio for Kyiv, Ukraine with less than 48 hours to pack, prepare, and pray.  Here is a link to that day: Surprise- We are on our way

 

This space was for the story of my daughter’s journey home.

 

Our journey to our beautiful daughter began two years ago today.  She has now been home almost two years.  It is time to begin anew. This Space will remain open and will be for adoption- oriented information.  I hope you will find it a great resource.  I hope to provide much more information to the adoption community, specifically on this space.

 

I have a NEW blog for all my family and friends and blogger pals, that want to continue hanging out with my family. Come on over and say hello and let me know what you think!  I would love to hear who has been reading over these last two years!  This is your chance for everyone to say hello!

 

Welcome to the Cabbage Patch Kidz

 

http://thecabbagepatchkids.blogspot.com/

 

Hope to see you there!!!

 

Leanna, Larry, Vitaly, Nikolai and Oksana~

I have fallen a bit behind on the blog.  It has been a busy time.  Saturday we celebrated Larry's birthday. 

 

I also celebrated a 5 pound weight loss  that is for one month but that is cool for me. 5 x 12 is 60.   A little bit extreme for me (not reaching for the 60 goal)  but you gotta like 5 pounds!

 

Sunday we celebrated Easter.  We had a great time with our family, even with the tons of mud.  The week before it rained for about 30 hours straight to offset the 30 hours of snow a week before.  Needless to say, our backyard was turned into a swimming pool!

 

Monday March 25, we celebrated the birth of our beautiful son Nikolai.  I wonder if somewhere in Ukraine a mother grieved having to say good-bye to her fourth bio child.

Does she remember?  Does she care?

 

The only thing that really matters is that he is now my son.  He has celebrated every birthday from 2-7 with us.  I am sad I missed his actual day born into this world and his first birthday, but that was nothing we could control.   Now, I can control it and every birthday will be his day as long as I am here.  So he had some options and picked the Columbus Ohio Science Institute (COSI).  The kids loved it!

 

We have some pictures to celebrate the life of Nikolai and the month of March!

Okay this made me laugh so hard.  I just had to share... 

(the bunny named Herman even has his own my space http://www.myspace.com/53313018)

 

NOW, this is a real EASTER BUNNY !!

He weighs in at 22 pounds and measures a little over 3 feet .. he is a breed

of rabbit called german giant (how appropriate!). This is his owner, Hans Wagner,

struggling to hold him up. from the NY Post article:

We don't feed him an unusual diet said Wagner. He goes through

more than his brothers and sisters, but he eats the same food mix.

His favorite food is actually lettuce. He can never get enough of it.

LOOK AT THOSE FEET!

The temperature is now in the mid fifties and the snow is almost all gone!  Spring must be close behind because as I was returning home, with Nik, we looked over in a field and I saw what I thought was a cat.  It was looking at me and I stopped and told Nik to look.  It was a little red fox!  Pretty cool!

 

I am off work today.  I have to take the day off to review and plan for V's IEP or Individualized Education Plan.  My sister who is an intervention specialist is going to look everything over, before we go to the meeting.  V is not having a good school year.  He needs some major rewrites to his plan.   He doesn't like school.  He doesn't like to do the work.  He doesn' get the concepts.  His regular classroom teacher doesn't care.   It is all a mess.  Hopefully, we can get him what he needs to improve his education.  Otherwise, he will fall further and further behind. 

We are in the midst of a two day blizzard!  It started snowing yesterday around 9:00 am and hasn't stopped yet!  The boys are in sledding heaven.  They went last night and are out again today!  We have close to a foot of snow.  That's a lot for central Ohio.  http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080309/ap_on_re_us/severe_weather

 

Before it started yesterday I was taking the kids to the sitter's.  V asked me if his school was on a two hour delay.  I told him no, but they would probably have an earlier dismissal because of the snow, that was coming.

 

Nikolai proudly exclaimed, "Oh they are going to have a snowmissal!"    The things kids say

 

And there are pictures of the snow and of Nik losing his first tooth.

 

 

It is so heartbreaking, when a family tries to adopt from Ukraine and goes there with high hopes, and instead comes home childless.

Ukraine is filled with thousands of orphaned children.  This family only wanted a child under eight or even siblings that were somewhat healthy.

They saw three children.  All were too sick.  They are coming home.  Childless with broken dreams of their adoption and another orphan will never have a family.

 

I had a PAP that lived nearby and we became adoption pals.  We went to their home and had dinner.  We talked all about her adoption to be and what high hopes she and her husband had to find their daughter.

They went to Ukraine.  They met a little girl.  They felt she was too sick.  They met another.  Again, she was not their daughter.  They left Ukraine.  They couldn't stand the heartbreak anymore.  They never did adopt their daughter.  I talked to her once after that but that was the last time; she told me she was not going to pursue it anymore.  Her heart was broken her dream was shattered and she was out of all of the money she invested. 

 

When we went to adopt Vitaly, we struggled too.  It was when adoptions were still new.  Noone had many problems, but somehow we had gone to two orphanages and seen lots of children, but none were our son.  Some were very ill and others too old.  I thought we were going to leave childless.  I remember crying like I have never cried in my life.  I remember thinking "why me?"  I remember wondering why we were having problems when hundreds of other families were finding their child.  I remember Larry telling me that if the third orphanage didnt work out, then we were just not meant to be parents to children; and we would come home and raise border collies.  (I don't know why that has always stuck with me but it has, it was such a surreal moment).  We finally were shown Vitaly, after our second appointment.   You can read about Vitaly's story in the link to his webpage. 

 

That is the risk with Ukraine and blind adoptions.  You never know why one family is shown a perfect referral and the next family is leaving heartbroken.