Recently on one of our Yahoo Ukraine boards some nasty comments were posted about the country and people of Ukraine.  Sure it is not paradise and not my idea of a dreamy vacation destination, but the country does grow on you and you leave a little bit of your heart there when you return to the luxuries of the US.   Still all the ranting was getting on my last nerve so I posted this in response-how much I love Ukraine. Here is what I posted:

 

I love Ukraine!

I love everything about Ukraine the bad and the good; the dirty and
the clean; the people and the country!

I love Ukraine for giving me the opportunity to adopt three of their
wonderful children. Children that belonged to Ukraine first!

I love the people of Ukraine for they are my children's heritage,
relatives and blood.

Thank you to the people and country of Ukraine!

 

 Then my awesome blogger friend Jane at http://benandmaggie.spaces.live.com/

wrote this beautiful response (I have deleted some bits/pieces for length purposes) and posted it to the whiney complainers:

 

“We had two relatively difficult adoptions.
Our first one was in 2001. When most people were completing
adoptions in 2 weeks, we were in Ukraine for 2 months with a 6 month
old baby while various government bodies decided on whether they
would let us leave with our son. During 2005/2006, we got our second
referral the day the NAC shut down and we had to do 2 trips due to
the inability to get a court date on our first trip.

However, despite everything, I only have the greatest respect and
thanks for Ukraine. The vast majority of people there are wonderful,
they cannot do enough to help you out. The country is absolutely
beautiful, even in minus 25 degree weather!!! We have had people
running around for hours, giving up their apartments, driving us
around wherever we wanted to go, taking us out to dinner, welcoming
us into their homes and work places. I am not sure we'd get the same
from anyone over here.

When I read posts where people talk about Ukraine being dirty or
lawless, it makes me crazy. Yes, it can be dirty, the building are
falling down everywhere, etc. However, go into someone's house, they
are all spotless. Rent an apartment in Kiev, some lady has been in
and cleaned it, washed the sheets, etc with no huge washer and dryer,
vacuum cleaner, etc. With the apartment turnover in Kiev, they can
be doing this almost on a daily basis. Yes, it can be lawless by our
terms, but we are the ones wanting quick court dates, passports etc.
When have you been able to get a court date or a passport in a few
days or weeks here? Wake up everyone-this country is not the US,
this country is not rich. They don't have street cleaners, they
don't have unlimited electricity or running water. At the end of the
day, this poverty is one of the reasons that we are able to adopt our
children from there. Do you think that you are going to adopt from a
country with hundreds of thousands of children in orphanages and it's
going to be just like taking a vacation with all its luxuries.

That brings me to statements such as "after years of IVF and failed
domestic adoptions". Shouldn't you be grateful to Ukraine that
eventually you will get a child from there? It may take longer than
you had hoped or thought, but eventually the vast majority of us are
sucessful with our adoptions. Would you be as frustrated and taking
it out on others if your IVF was unsuccessful every month? It is an
absolute blessing that after trying everything else (not that we did,
this was our first choice), you can still adopt from Ukraine. Maybe
gratitude comes after adoption. It seems like there are more people
with complaints and criticisms before than after. Most parents that
have been to Ukraine have very little criticism.

Yes, it's frustrating when family and friends say "when are you
getting your child", but is that the fault of Ukraine? Maybe it's
your fault that you told them too soon. We did not widely mention
our adoption the first time until we had our travel dates. Do you
tell everyone you're trying to get pregnant? If not, why tell
everyone you're adopting, it sets you up for frustration.

If anyone from Ukraine reads the recent posts on here, I hope they
are horrified, I certainly am. Please everyone, remember just how
lucky we are that this Country considers us suitable to adopt their
beautiful children.”

 

Which brings me here:  Some more of my own personal reasons that I love Ukraine. 

 

  My children's history lies in the soil and sweat and blood of the nation. Their relatives toiled the dirt, planted the seeds and starved and fought/died to ensure my children would one day be born.

 

One of my best friends in the world (literally) lives in a small rundown apartment with muddy paths, sidewalks and trash everywhere.  But I love her anyway. I love her for making me laugh and for hugging me when I cried, as I adopted with her guidance three times.  I love that she is the Guardian Angel of my children, because without her I would not have them.  I love her family for welcoming me into their home.  I love that her dad brought me photos to look at of his parents and grandparents to share his history with me, an American that only 20 years prior he was taught was the enemy in the world.  I love that her dad bought me cookies when he went by himself to the marketplace, and that he thought about me as he spent his hard earned coins.  I love that her dad made me hot tea and had me sit by him as a guest and look out the window together, although we could not speak a word to each other.   I love that her daughter and her friends whispered and giggled whenever I was around, because I was from America.  I love that her daughter was a picky eater and preferred caviar with buttered bread over pizza.  I love that her brother fixed us amazing dinners and showed us how to eat and drink like a Ukrainian.

 

I love that the babushkas take the time to sweep their sidewalks and stairs because they are proud.  I love that everyone walks arm in arm and lovers stroll together hand in hand.  I love the old men playing chess in the park.  I love the big fuzzy hats and pointy shoes.  I love the market places.  I love the way the little children are bundled up for the cold.  I love the colorful homes and doors and little villages.

 

I love that the people are still proud even though they might have nothing.

 

I love that my children have the honor of being citizens of both Ukraine and the United States of America.  The USA is their home.  Ukraine is their blood.

  

Vitaly did end up finally losing his front tooth.  With that one gone and one on the bottom- he looks like (A) He got into a brawl  (B) Removed from society living in the woods and has never brushed (C) Hockey player.

 

Nikolai had his annual trip to the Endocronlogist.  Now for all of you that are unfamiliar with what kind of Doctor that is I can't help ya either, all I know is it has something to do with growing.  This Doctor has been following Nik's growth since he was about two.   He has done three bone age scans on Nik to determine how far behind in growth Nik is compared to your average child.  Nikolai has been in the negative five percentile

since we adopted him for height and around 5-10% for weight.  He follows what the call the bell curve and hasnt stopped growing but we are concerned he might be very height challenged!    And frankly coming from a someone under 5' myself I do not want him as a boy having to deal with that!  So, we are watching in case the next step is growth hormones.  Well he got another bone scan done and his 'bone' age was five years old (he is 6.5), so what that means is when his friends have quit growing around sixteen or so he will keep growing for at least another 1.5 years.  The Doctor's estimated final height was...Five foot Eight!  YEAH!   Anything over 5'5" is fine by me.  We were worried he might not make five feet.  So right now he is 42" and 38 lbs.

 

On another scale Vitaly is catching up very fast to mom and is wearing a size 4-5 boys-men shoe.  I mean cmon I only wear a six woman's.  He is getting close to passing me up in height within two years and he just turned eight.  They think he will probably be well over six feet tall.  Amazing.

 

We think Oksana will be average to tall and lucky for her have long legs and long fingers.  A far cry from my stubby legs and hands.  Definitely a bonus for her!

 

 

 As we were getting ready to leave the house this morning I heard a loud scream from the living room and then Vitaly ran in saying "spider  Spider- its HUGE"

I thought probably just a harmless house spider and went in to ease his fright.. Wrong.  It was one of the biggest wolf spiders I have ever seen sitting squarely in the middle of our sofa chair.  Big enough to give me the chills! It had to be at least two-three inches in length.  I knew taking off my heel and trying to smash it was probably not going to work and the napkin I had in my hand was in no way an option.  All I could think was if I missed it would be crawling up my arm!  So I said get me the sweeper, as the kids all screamed and ran away.  Then I think I swept it up, as I aimed, turned it on and screamed.  I am not sure if it ran between the cushions but I didnt see it after I turned off the sweeper.  All I know is that I am not sitting in that chair again anytime soon!!!

 

On another side note of giving me the grossies today....   Vitaly is losing his front tooth and it just won't come out!  The thing has been hanging on for dear life for a few days now.  I cant even look!  It is awful.  Sorry but this tooth fairy buisness is no fun. Something about losing teeth really makes my stomach queasy.  Am I the only one or does this bother anyone else?

So Larry and Nikolai go grocery shopping.

 

Nik is in the cart.  Here is how a six year old can embarass his dad on purpose.

 

Larry walks away, gets an item, comes back and Nikolai says "YOU are not my Daddy!"

 

Just loud enough to make others think that maybe he isnt the daddy.

 

Then as Larry begins to push a bit embarrased by the outburst, Nikolai exclaims " Why are you pushing me?  You are not my daddy!"

 

Of course he continues this little scenario each time Larry stops to get another item and returns to the cart... each time in earshot of a different shopper. 

 

Where do six year olds get this silly stuff? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today is Oksana's third birthday. 

 

Which makes it official -my "baby" years are now behind me.  I will never have another baby or toddler, and in a way it makes me sad.  No I won't miss diapers, potty training, or baby gates.  But I will miss baby coos, bottle feeding and the smell of Johnson baby shampoo (gotta love that smell) on a freshly washed head getting ready for night night.  Maybe I am just being nostalic, because I never experienced my children younger then 14 months and before I knew it they were two, and then three.  They seemed to just fly right through those baby years.

 

Well today my toddler turned three.   Three years ago somewhere in Ukraine a woman gave birth and abandoned her little girl she had carried for nine months, as fast as she could in the hospital, not even leaving a letter or official name. 

One year later the little girl had her first birthday but without ballons or a family or a cake, just another day in the life of an orphan. 

 

Last year Oksana got to experience her second birthday and finally celebrate her birth for the first time!  She had cupcakes, friends, family, food, punch and lots of presents!  She had her first celebration that told the world she was born, she was special and this was her day!

 

Friday, we will "officially" celebrate Oksana's third birthday with cupcakes, presents and games at a local fun park.  She is so excited!

 

Happy 3 Birthday Oksana!