than go to Click here to view

 

Check out Nikolai with the big tear- Right when they start the first song I hope u still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

 

and the very very end of I knew I loved u before I met you song the second to last pic is Vitaly hugging mommy one of my all time fav pics

 

Enjoy and bring a hankie

Prayers are needed as we approach Oksana's cleft palate repair surgery date on July 5, estimated recovery time is three weeks. 

 

My poor girl will not understand at all and absolutely hates the whole doctor thing.  I am so sad knowing that I cannot explain it to a little girl, that has only begun to trust us, that she is in pain because they helped her boo boo.  Than to top things off she will be on a liquid diet for awhile and in arm restraints.  They overnite her, but release her within 23 hours as to make that dreaded " insurance inpatient cutoff".  Come on why do we even bother to pay them?  What is wrong with keeping a little girl a bit longer to ensure nothing has gone astray.  Nope what used to be a seven day hospital stay is now a send home with mom and hope she can handle it insurance policy.  Which in itself is another matter.  Just so happens my husbands insurance has changed to a whole new plan and provider.  This is my added bonus of fun.

 

So this weekend we will have some family time and I hope to even get a few pictures in because they are redoing a bit of her nose as well.    I want to remember her every step of the way, because how I met her without any surgery is the little girl I fell in love with.  Each surgery just makes her a bit more whole in physical aspects but I lose a bit of the little girl I know and adore,  as she is altered a little bit each time in appearance.

 

Leanna~

 

 

 

 

Oksana has been here a bit over two months.

 

For such a little girl she has come so far.

 

Tonite for example she swam a bit on her belly in the bath than we flipped over and I made her float on her back which she loved.  Shows honest trust in her mom and herself. 

 

She has become more independent and has decided that she WILL let us know if things are not agreeable especially bedtime.  Altough we have a good routine at times it gets broken and than she is not happy going back.  Last night she kicked everything in her bed because she had to go to sleep (like her dolls and stuffed animals)

 

Which brings me to another odd thing.  She doesnt like things in her bed that touch her. The boys had one special stuffed animal they always slept with and still do.  Vitaly has "woofie" a stuffed dog that my SIL gave him the night we returned at the airport.  They are still inseperable.  Nikolai got his stuffy in an aptly called "bunny".

 

When we were in the airport to Paris I said to Larry we forgot to bring her forever stuffy.  So we looked around and found a blue soft doggie. 

Well no matter how much I give her blue soft doggie he has yet to find a home-sigh.

 

She loves to take off her shoes and clothes.  It is actually funny.  She comes home and takes off her shoes and clothes- wonder where she gets it  (MOM).  After work I do the same(but change into my easy clothes), it is great how the kids can figure it all out.

 

She has become a PICKY eater.  Oh no we have BTDT (been there done that) picky eater and do not want to repeat. 

 

She loves the dogs.  O loves to hug and throw balls with the dogs- on the other hand they think she is the perfectly trained human.

 

She is very forgiving and sorry.   I had left the dishwasher (one of her favorite activities) open before I was done and had been sidetracked for a moment.  When I turned around my favorite helper had a knife in her hand and was poking her other.  I was scared and said to her in russian to give to me and put it down which she did- luckliy.   Than I scolded her and she was bawling.  Than we hugged and I told her it was danger.  Than she hugged Nik and the dog just in case I guess they had done it too, which was very cute.

 

She loves to kiss and hug.

 

She is my daughter and I am so happy

Leanna~

 

 

 

When the boys were younger we first attached those weird arm floaties to their arms and let them swim all over. 

 

 Well, as they got older they became more and more dependent on these odd little floation devices( aka swimmies).  So this summer I have decided to break them of the habit.  They are in swimming classes and now they must sink or swim.  Well they both love to be under water and jump in, but those little floaties must really give you the clutch you need.  Neither one wants to part with their little clutch, but it is time... and guess what they are!

 

Vitaly was the first off the "jumping board" as he called the diving board and so proud of himself (into the arms of an instructor of course) and Nikolai bravely followed two days later with a bit of assistance from an instructor (picked him up and let go).  His fear was finally conquered.  I am so proud of my boys.  A few more weeks and they might actually never look back.

 

 So many more times in their lives they will have to deal with sink or swim.  It is just weird seeing it play out.  I know every time I made the decision to adopt it was sink or swim or get eaten by sharks.  Luckily I chose to swim.  I think there might even have been angels disguised as dolphins.

 

Leanna~

I wanted to share Nikolai's replies about his mommy sent from his pre-school teacher:  his responses in ()

 

My mommy is  (5) years old. 

-Umm Not exactly but at least he thinks I am still young.

 

She weighs (30) and is (her tired). 

-I weigh a bit more than 30 but I dont think he can count that  high. Great even my kid thinks I need more sleep

 

Her hair is (brown, brown) and her eyes are (blue) -

Well it is blonde/brown and yep they are blue especially since I can enhance them with blue contacts.

 

My mommy loves to relax by (watch TV, her always watch TV)  

 -What?? 

Guess I dont have much of a life  since I am glued to the tube

 

She loves to cook (corndogs). 

-Hmm  so much for all my fancy dinners!

 

Her favorite household chore is (dust). 

-close Nicky but I actually dislike them all babycakes.

 

Her favorite TV show is (the weather). 

- I think he has me confused with my brother who's favorite channel is  The Weather Channel. 

I will take reality TV over the weather any DAY!

 

My mommy likes to shop for (bologna)--

Yep gotta check out my new bologna shoes

 

I really love my mommy because (do everything) 

You got that right babe!!!! My Nikolai cutiepie XXOO

 

Leanna~

 

 

Well on Wednesday I got up, walked the dogs, kissed my husband goodbye as he left for work and took the kids to the sitter's, before going into work.  Around lunchtime a co-worker asked if I wanted to eat with her in our lunchroom and I said sure.  So we were talking and she suddenly left and than another friend said she needed to talk to me right than, so she starts to head into the conference room.  She opened the door and there was a loud surprise and I turned and walked away (it scared me to death).  Than she said come on Larry and Oksana were in the room too.  Than I began to cry.

 

My co-workers had planned a surprise baby shower with my DH and babysitter in cahoots for me.  I have never had a surprise that Larry has never given up in the 20 plus years we have been together.  He ALWAYS gives up the goods before hand, but not this time.

 

He had even taken work off for the day.  After I had dropped off the kids, he went over and the babysitter dressed her in a cute new dress and shoes for her debut.  Of course the boys wanted to join him, but he just said he was taking her to the Doctor's and that settled their desires.  Than they snuck in my work.  It was awesome and Oksana loved her new toys and clothes and she was so adorable!

 

Thanks Kimmy-wink  you are the best!

 

Leanna~

Thought this was pretty cool.  I saw a link on another blog and just had to share (thanks Angela).

 

How to tell if you are Ukrainian

 

 

How to tell if you are American

 

 

I think it really hits the ball on the head with some of his associations!  It really is a cultural eye opener because it rings so true. 

 

There are links to other cultures as well. 

 

Leanna~

FYI-The first link to the video doesnt seem to work but the second link does.  You need to click on the play arrow key as well.

 

Oksana is turning 21 months already. She can even walk down the stairs now.  They grow way too fast

 

Oksana had her first major trauma yesterday.  She did her first back flip (applause by mommy the former gymnast) off of our bed into the dresser-ouch.  Her prize was an half inch wound that bled but required no further attention.  The bonus here "only for mom and dad"  she actually cried and came running for assistance.  This is HUGE.  Now she knows that crying will get a response. Yeah O, way to know we are here for you.

 

Oksana is a shoe girl.  She loves shoes.  Hopefully she will not have to wear a 6EE like her mom.    I wish I had pretty long toes like O.  Not short fat Barney Rubble feet as my DH so calls them.

 

I still have the hangover effects from the travel and adoption.  I really think I went back to work to quickly.  For all the PAP's out there I usually waited about 2 months with my other adoptions before returning to work.  This time was about 1.5 weeks not enough for me...I think I am just burnt out and need some time to bond with my little girl.  

 

Why do I continue to speak a mixture of baby Russian and English?  So odd because I have so few Russian words Oksana is totally confused I bet.  I like to say them while I still remember them yet she needs to learn English.  Plus I am the worst russian speaker.  I thought Baca was bye the whole time in Ukraine.  Well it is not Baca but P-  Paca.  I suck.

 

Post adoption depression:  Where is it?  I do not have it this time.  Thought I really would because I had it pretty bad both other adoptions.  What is PAD?    It is something that just happens.  You spend so much time and energy (like a wedding for example) and all of your energy and hopes go into the adoption than you travel and it takes a toll on you and you return and suddenly all of the adrenaline is gone and you thik what now?  I had it both times previous.  This time I have not.  What a relief! 

 

 

Over the weekend a huge male dog showed up at the neighbor's house behind us. 

 

They have a small male samoyed and I guess he was attracted for this reason.  He decided he liked their yard and deck and plopped down at his rented new yard.  Their yard is directly behind our yard, and neither is fenced, so the dog would wander over into ours as well to see my two females and play a bit.  Noone could touch the dog, as we was very skiddish, but he would let you feed him a treat.  He did have a collar with two dangling tags that noone could get close enough to read.

 

He decided he liked this yard enough that he would even bark at intruders if they came into his new dig.

 

Now I had forgotten about the dog yesterday, when he came running up to me while I had one of mine on a leash.  He sniffed at her and I decided I could grab his collar and try to get the number- wrong he jumped back and gave me a warning nip (no broken skin) that I better let go NOW!  And he returned to his yard.

 

So we the dog lovers (the neighbor and us) did not yet want to turn him into the warden because he just had to be someones lost dog and he was scared enough not to be a good candidate at the pound, plus he was cute.

 

The neighbors put up signs and I began to search some internet sites hoping something would show up about someone losing him.  Well I finally found what might be a match, but he really would have traveled far (at least 7miles) to get to our house and that would be through some major traffic and road crossings.

 

I called the lady who said her dog was missing since last mid week, and began to describe him too her.  She began to cry and said that has got to be him but how did he get there?? (that was the big question he really had traveled).  Luckily for her, the big overgrown shy puppy had found the perfect homes to stop and wait for his mom to come and get him. 

 

What made him pick our homes after going past so many?  He was one lucky dog to decide to stop and that two of the biggest animal lovers in the area lived in front and behind his new yard.

 

She happily cried as she found her dog almost a week later; and he was jumping and so excited to see the face of the woman he had searched so hard to find again.

 

Update:  She came back with the dog and husband in the evening and guess what they were immigrants from Russia (she had a huge accent) and the dog had actually traveled more than 15 miles from her home.  There were flyers all over her suburb area/city but none here of course because we were in a different county and city!  He was so friendly when his mom and dad were there he even gave kisses!  Amazing.  He was one lucky dog.

 

What a miracle!

 

Leanna

 

 

Here is a video Della Curley made of some of the angels adopted from Ukraine.  She is given a copy to the Ukraine Embassy I believe and officials at the Ukrainian camp retreat some families are attending in the Catskills.

 

Here is the video u might recognize a few of the boys.

 

The second to last picuture on the whole cd is a pic of vitaly and me hugging.   we are both in blue and it is one of my all time favs of Vitaly and me~   

 

 oh and watch for Nikolai close to the very end of "I hope we  dance" and see the big tear coming out of his eye in the portrait( too cute)

 

What gorgeous children Ukraine has and what beautiful families. 

 

WE ARE BLESSED

 

Dont forget to turn on the music and it might take a minute to buffer.

 

 

 http://www.vmix.com/viewVideo.php?ID=496303

 

If that link is not working try this one

 

<embed src="http://www.vmix.com/soloPlayerNoAutoPlay.swf?ID=x496303" wmode="transparent" width="480" height="360" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed><br>Videos by vMix Member: <a href="http://www.vmix.com/viewArtist.php?ID=77877">Curleycru</a><br>

 

Leanna

Well I have been pondering about posting my true thoughts on facilitators and the whole adoption process.

 

But here it goes...  (this is really information for newbies (or people that are waiting to adopt their first time))

 

For those unfamiliar what a facilitator is they are the ones that legally can process your paperwork in Ukraine.  They must be licensed to be a true facilitator.  There are many people that are Translators (aka people that are usually with the couple and aide them with translation and everyday life , often known as tour guides or the under paid).  These people are rarely a facilitator.  Usually a facilitator hires the translator to do most of the "people" work while they do the behind the scenes work.

 

Well here are my thoughts on MANY facilitators (but may I stress not my M). 

 

They are hired to aide an agency or independent group (which means they just dont have an agency paying them).  The adoptee is the one that pays them.  They than usually hire a translator for the couple who gets paid minimal from the actual fee.  Most facilitators rarely care about the actual couple but more about getting the adoption completed and moving on.  I know I have seen it so many times.  My first adoption my facilitator was a young man without any clue about us as a couple or our hopes and dreams.  My translator worked so hard to ensure we were happy but he didnt care at all.  When our first two regions fell through he was like oh well go home.  Instead I looked at him and said words that noone wants to hear, lets just say they were not nice.  For him I was a job for me it was my LIFE!  (see Vitalys story link here )  http://www.geocities.com/boomerseyler/

 

On my second adoption we met some families at the embassy in Warsaw that had to use the same translator( hired via their facilitator) together to complete their adoptions.  Their facilitator was so busy with getting people over that they all had to travel together!  Somehow they had two referals for the same orphanage.  Well one couple left with the translator for a day while the others were put on hold... You get the picture they were very mad as they each had to deal with the other two couples and same translator- OH MY- long story short noone seemed very happy with the whole  process. 

 

Well this adoption I met  families that were from other countries who were using the same facilitator team.  They were a little concerned because they never saw them  NOR did they have a translator with them either OH MY!  They were in awe that M actually came with us to the orphanage.  She even helped them translate a few times.  Amazing.  And may I add they said they paid -gulp - around I think close to (but might be lost in translation) 70K american dollars for their adoption.  Who do you think is getting this money??  Guarantee it is not the children or orphanage.  Why????

 

Then when I was in somewhere in Ukraine (used for anonymous reasons),  I met another facilitator (very well known), that was trying to act like he knew something about my adoption.  He saw my daughter ( and asked me what region she was from)and than told his client (within ear shot of myself) that he had paid to have the little girl FIXED!  (IE her cleft lip repair)

 

I turned to him and said ( because how dare him think he knows Oksana or her surgery) " NO you DID NOT! "

 

He said oh her surgery we fixed her last month she is from ... region correct.  I said

 

" Yeah but you did NOT pay for her surgery because they did it while I was here and we were the ones paying for it.  You had NOTHING to do with it. "  (by the way the surgery is free for the children I paid for extras like 2$ per day for her to have a private room without 5 others sharing it, and I paid for her food and some medicines)

 

Then he sort of blew me off...  and said something like I had seen that girl....Complete arrogance he was trying to look like he was a bigwig... what an ***! 

 

He had lied and I busted him about it.  He must have been thinking I was Some lonely little girl adopting with no idea about the process wrong - he met the wrong chick LOL!   

 

My translator who later became a facilitator (because she was tired of being used) has stepped up to the plate everytime! YOU GO GIRL!  ( in girlie fashion)

 

 If you come home with a child (even out of your desired criteria) than for your facilitator you are successful and that is what they want.  But do not settle if it is not your true heart's desire.  You paid the team so fight for what fits your family!!!!

 

Anyway it doesnt matter if you use an agency or not.    Some like the thought that there is an agency involved and it feels more comfortable and that is their choice.  I do know that most facilitators work both with agencies and independent  at the same time.  You are just paying the middle man with an agency.  Some facilitators are only about numbers and money, while others do care about their clients.  How do you know who to choose?  It is all personal choice.  There are good facilitators and there are those that look good to pull you in and than just sort of fizzle out in the end.

 

Long winded and now tired so going to be so I get up early to walk the dogs in the morning (I have been doing very good at keeping up this routine- yeah)

 

Leanna