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Happy meet you dayOne year ago I met my daughter...
So we arrived in Odessa after about 12 hours on a very hot train. We were lucky as in Odessa the train came to a long stop. We have been in cities where you literally have five minutes to get off. This train was silent. So we disembarked and all of the patrons were headed towards the exit. So we walked that way too. Obvious americans as we had wheels on our luggage and way to much. Then we were surrounded by the taxi drivers that instantly noticed my white tennis shoes and OSU sweatshirt were "foreigners". But Masha shushed them and was talking to a kind old man. She gave us the signal and we were off in his mercedes benz. Tired and feeling dirty, but anticipating the next stop. We pulled behind some old soviet apartment buildings, with walkways filled with mud. And almost like a park, stood a small building with a fence, keeping the children in and the others out, was the orphanage. We went into a side door. We waited. And waited. And waited. I called home and talked to Nikolai, and we cried so hardly any words were spoken. So I hung up the phone. And we waited. We were eventually called into the Directors office. She spoke and M translated. We nodded having done this twice before, we knew what to be ready for. She showed us pictures of disabled children in her orphanage. It was hard to look at. I was terrified that I would not be able to look at the little girl called Oksana and that I just KNEW she would be brought in at any minute, or we would walk to meet. Then, a door opened and it got a quick hush in the room. Larry said, in a smiling manner, "hi Oksana"! And I knew she was behind me. But his hi was bright and cheerful, so I turned in hopes that I could handle the sight of my daughter. She was beautiful. I saw the unrepaired cl but it was so minor compared to the bright eyes that shone back, and the timid hand clenching in fear to her caregiver. She was my daughter. Some say to have a Doctor come and do testing of the child, but we could tell. She was just a normal 19 month old girl frozen in fear. Then she took my hand and we walked a bit. She did not complain or whimper just walked. Then DH held her and we knew we had met our child. You know the rest of the story or if you do not go to March 2006 and follow it from there....
Happy meet you day!!! The NAC one year agoFirst I was a bit off on my first two posts just a day behind, so forgive me. I still think adding in the spots that we leave out while in country are beneficial to the whole story
On with the story of meeting O...
So I awoke after a jet lagged night.. to a room..what room is it? Where am I? Am I on vacation? Where am I? Is it time for work???
These are the freaky thoughts I had when I awoke. I looked over and saw Larry but could NOT remember where I was or what bedroom I was in? I woke DH confused by the whole thing. Oh MY I am in Ukraine! Well after a long sleep it finally dawned that yes this is where I was. This was where I would be for the next few weeks and I already missed home desperately.
So M had left to do whatever Ukrainian women do at seven oclock in the morning and I started to get ready for the appointment at the NAC (national adoption center in Ukraine).
Well after getting ready and packing up we were ready to head to the NAC. We met in a hall, with a few other couples, on the last day the NAC would ever be open. Then we were led into an office, ere the NAC director told us what to expect. She also reminded us that if we did not find our child then we would not get another appointment. There was another family there that happened to be working with our former translator Nina and we had corresponded previously. They were adopting an older teenage girl they had known. The Director was very happy with their request and smiled. Then we were led into another room. The picture files began to be shown to us of children classified as Special Needs as we had requested. We looked at each one. We studied the diagnosis. We turned down quite a few right at the start. How sad for these children. What type of sad lives would they lead before God would finally give them peace. One had seizures multiple times per day one read, one the child had paralysis of all limbs, on and on they went, then a little girl without her legs. Promising to us as we were looking for limb differential but two legs missing? Beautiful baby with an amazing smile, but legs wrapped in cloth. Then a smile from everyone as they reached for another file. A healthy baby girl 19 mos with light eyes and hair, but with cleft lip and palate. Here is her picture and they show us. I look she doesnt look to be beautiful as her picture is a newborn picture of a child with surgery needed that engulfs her face. At least to me it does. I turn away and look back at the smiling little girl whose SN is not so noticeable. They again state that the little CL/CP girl is very intelligent and very healthy perhaps we should see her. They give us more info on her and all is promising. I don't know I cannot look at the picture. It seems so disfigured. Then M says I think you will like this girl it is fixable it is cosmetic and easy to repair. They all agree. They all look at me. Larry is okay with the file. I say okay. I feel relieved but I feel odd. When I began my journey for my daughter I never imagined a child with CL/CP. Never ever ever crossed my mind.
So we got the paperwork started and went to lunch with Nina and the family above (westons story on links).
We were so happy to see N and talk with another family that had like us been there/done that we were happy!
We got our train tickets at the same station we always have and then went dinner and the train station. We waited for quite awhile at the train station. We got on the train in first class as they say which means we had our own compartment with two beds. M was in another, with a stranger. It was cold outside but the train was HOT! Not just hot but imagine having a small room with a central heater that wont turn off. We actually had to sleep (if u call it sleep) with our door open to anyone wandering the car. Not the safest way to travel, with thousands of dollars on you, but no other choice.
Also one note about the trains, they make me ill. I get motion sickness on planes , boats and trains (but not cars) and was feeling very ill.
On top of that my nerves were a mess. Why was I going to Odessa? How could I handle meeting my child with a "Disability"? Would I be able to look at her? What if I could not? I prayed and asked for guidance. I cried silently and eventually went into a restless sleep...
On the airplane and the next day one year ago..It is incredible and feels like it was so recent, that this time last year we were flying from Cincinnati via JFK to Paris to Kyiv. As we sat in the airport in Cincinnati, a bit earlier then we needed to be there, we looked out at the airplanes and thought what are we getting ourselves into? As we ate some lunch in JKF, I thought this is the last time I will be hearing all English around me for awhile. When we arrived in Kyiv, I thought I can't wait to see Masha again! As we finally figured out the pesky customs forms, we got to see M and then get into a taxi. Then it hit me, deja vu, yes I have been here before and I am back in Ukraine. I am here to find my daughter. I am here to talk to my wonderful friend M. Larry and I are alone and my children are half way around the world! Then M said that maybe we could try and see, if the NAC would see us, since the 30th was the last day they would be open. So we went to a very modern apartment, to change and freshen up. I remember thinking to myself it was so surreal. It was like I was not even there more of in a dream state (didn't help that I was completely jet lagged too). M kept talking to us and I kept thinking to myself, what is M doing here? Then I would think, you are in Ukraine Leanna, get with the day!
So we changed and headed out to the NAC. We went to the top of the stairs, where we encountered many couples most were talking to their translators. Most looked desperate or worried (as it was later in the day). A few seemed very happy as they talked to others. We casually spoke to a young couple that was desperately hoping to get in for a referral. M came back to about an hour later and said that we had to come back the next day. I was secretly relieved actually, as I was still in the jet lag and 48 hours notice fog.
We went to grab a bite to eat and get some groceries and get ready for the next day. I do not recall much from here, as the jetlag hit me very hard!
I do know we were going to watch a movie on the laptop, but I did not make it that long...
A year ago...One year ago today our facilitator called and said that we were registered and invited to come to Ukraine, to adopt a "Special needs" girl, but we had to be there before the NAC closed March 30th. We also knew it was our last chance persay, because our paperwork and immigration approval would expire and we were not going to pay anymore money to redo it all, before the country re-opened for adoptions.
I remember shaking and was completely freaked out on what to do. Should we go for special needs or not? Would it be worth it? What were we doing? Our family of four was just fine. Why change the structure?
Larry and I discussed all of the options and decided that maybe we should not go after all.
We actually had made up our mind to not go, then I said but what if our child is there? If we do not go now, we will not go at all. What about finding our daughter?
Then we looked at the boys and said nope, we cannot leave them for 30 days. How were we going to get everything packed, work straightened out, 10,000 dollars cash in new bills, airline tickets, arrangements for the boys, arrangements for the dogs, house cleaned, presents bought for our facilitator and her family (laptop, movies, clothes), bills paid ahead, transportation to the airport, travel supplies, clothes washed, luggage, information provided to the county for SN funding, and food bought for our housesitter before leaving in 48 hours? It seemed monumental and undoable.
So, as I cried and pondered what to do, I called my brother and is advice was so encouraging. If you do not go now, you will probably regret it for the rest of your life. Just go it is only a plane ticket after all, and if you do not find your daughter then you will know at least you tried.
Then I called my co-adoptive friend Amy, who talked me right back into going after all!
So in the middle of the day, I said to Larry, okay we are going. This is our only chance and I do not want to look back years from now knowing that we did not even try. And with that said, we went full speed ahead to get everything finished in less than 48 hours. Nikolai is Six/ and some pics dated birthday 2007Well it happened whether mommy wanted to give Nikolai to the young boys club or not, Nikolai celebrated his sixth birthday!
I remember traveling to his village and even passing the street where is birth mother lived to retrieve his birth certificate. My facilitator asked me if I wanted to see the "house" where his bm's address was listed but we declined. Yes, I did want to see it but WHAT if SHE was outside as we passed? Could we handle seeing her? What if she looked in the car and we saw eye to eye for just that moment? Would she KNOW we were adopting the child she had given up? Needless to say, in this little village of very few, I choose to drive past her street and leave the "what" there for the time. Instead, we drove by the hospital that was only for "women" and where he was born. So Nikolai even though we were not there at birth, we did see where your birth mother gave you life. And for that, we are so happy.
So today, we celebrated his SIXTH birthday! Happy Birthday to our wonderful and kind and friend to all beautiful son.
We are so lucky as we did get to go to the zoo after all! You woke up so excited to know that it was your special day. Although the weather here looked very bleak we reviewed the weather in Cincy and it was almost 80 degrees. Of course, Mom the cold one overdressed everyone and they had to de-layer as the beautiful day evolved.
Your Aunt and Uncle and cousins met us for a wonderful day of awe and fun. Even if you HATED the insect world but hey those creepy crawley things are pretty freaky!
What a great day! Unfortunately that sick bug crept back up after awhile, but you still managed to eat and open your gifts from home.
Another quick birthday shout out goes to our Niece Sunshine who is two. Enjoy your doodlebops birthday we miss and love you!
Here are some pictures.... (By the way Oksana LOVED the zoo and was mesmerized by all of the animals- she is just like her mommy- a true animal lover) Poor babyWell today I am home with the kids as it is my day off. Tomorrow is Nikolai's birthday and he is so excited as we have planned a trip to the zoo!
But today has not turned out as planned... Nikolai has a high fever and is vomiting. Poor baby. Of course I have such a weak stomach that it is not a fun time for me either! I have the worse gag reflex. That is why I decided I could not be in medicine or a Doctor.
Now Nikolai is resting so hopefully, he will be ready for the zoo. He has looked so forward to it, that I would hate that it wouldn't happen on his birthday! Crossing my fingers that this is just the 24 hour variety.
Regarding adoptions in Ukraine some sad news. First a law is almost set banning singles from adoptions, as well as setting an age limit between adoptable children and parents at 45. In other words, you cannot be 45 years older then the child. It is sad about the singles though because I have met many wonderful men and women single parents that have adopted from Ukraine. In fact, one of our dear friends that used M is single and adopted a terrific little boy. I have met so many others. What a shame for the kids. Also it looks like Ukraine is setting a limit on how many dossiers (paperwork submitted to adopt) will be accepted each year. The tally for the US for 2007 only 558! That is not a lot of children. Lets hope things improve from here for the sake of the children still waiting.
Happy Birthday To U!I have to give the birthday shout outs to my DH Larry and my SIL Dawn! Happy Birthday xxoo!!!!
As for the birthdays, I came home early from work to hit the stores as Nikolai's birthday follows on Saturday and I had a meeting with Vitaly's IEP team. All I can say is I am not your typical gal as I really do not like shopping. I was exhausted afterwards! But I got some really cool things they will enjoy! SHHH not telling yet...
As far as Vitaly's IEP, I am so proud of my son that has come so far. Imagine being adopted in a sterile enviornment at just turning 15 mos and weighing 11 -12 lbs- not a lot of brain food. He has come so far, we are so happy, as how far he has progressed. Sometimes people sight district schools as a negative, but so far in the seven years he has already been in school, as a complete positive!! His teachers are excellent and the day he came home and read me a book I was crying. I was so worried he might not ever read and he is now reading everything. Way to go V you are amazing!
What a bargain!I just have to mention this. On Saturday, I stopped at Kmart to return a towel. I decided to see if they had any good toys on clearance. As I passed the laundry aisle, I remembered I probably needed some more fabric softener. I was looking at the sale on Snuggle, when I noticed one of the Snuggle 64oz called Green Burst said discontinued item and was marked down to 84 cents. Instead of 3.99$, as on the original sticker. I smelled it and it smelled really refreshing, so I took a bottle over to a sales clerk who checked it and yes it was really $.84. So, I went back and grabbed all five bottles! When I went to the checkout the sales clerk there could not believe what they were ringing up for and asked where I had gotten them, because she was going to get some. Then, the lady behind me was very curious and she wanted some. Of course, I had to tell them that I had taken all they had left. Anyway, it was fun to walk away with my bargains. More picsOkay here are some more pics. Some are from our friend Connie's post wedding reception, some from our friend Eva's first birthday and the guys night out- labled Jan-Feb 2007.
And while sneaking a peak take a look at this Odessa cutie from the same orphanage as Oksana. The pics really tell the story of where we were when we were there and this baby is a C-U-T-I-E! http://kramarchukadoption.spaces.live.com/
Random Thoughts about thingsSome recent favorite things: (disclaimer some things might be old news but new favs for me)
Some new things about our family I have learned:
Some random thoughts:
Please take a moment and comment what are yours????
lost in spaceOn Saturday I took Nik and Oksie to Columbus to see my relatives and their second cousins. We met at an indoor mall playspace. The theme of the play area was Space and was pretty cool as all of the planets the kids could climb on and a spaceship to explore. The adults talked while the kids played and we enjoyed the company. O was having a blast and even ignored mommy some (huge for her) as she explored her independence. The only problem with the set up was there were probably seventy five kids playing with all of the adults surrounding the play area but four huge escape areas. O seemed to play over and over in the same spot. Next time I turned back I did not see her. So I thought she was in an area that was hard to see. So I called my Aunt over and we started to look everywhere. In my mind I had that feeling to say everyone.. STOP right now and noone move! But I didnt say it. Then after searching and not seeing her I was really getting scared that she had wondered away....Then I saw commotion at one of the exits and there was a security guard holding a little girl that looked happily familiar.
Well I ran over and scooped her up with a quick kiss. The security guard was glaring but I didnt want any part of the lecture and left.
I sat down and was reassured by my relatives that it probably happens ten times a day at least. It made sense but I still had that lump in my heart that I had let her get away for a fleeting moment.
Staying fiveIt was a bit sad for me today as I went to the school to sign Nikolai up for Kindergarten. I know he has to go and I know he has already been held back one year, but I still do not want him to grow up! I know that is selfish of me but I don't care!! I want him to stay five just a little longer until I can decide he turns six! I will have my pity party!
One day we had the following conversation.
Nik - mom on my next birthday I will be six. Me- you can't have another birthday I don't want you to turn six I went you to stay five.
Then recently I told Larry, Nik's birthday is coming up soon what do you think we should plan? Nik says- But mom, you said I can't have another birthday, you told me you want me to stay five!
I said Yes I did say that but unfortunately for mommy you will turn six, then seven, eight and keep on growing up.
Well today he said he wants an Astronaut birthday. He even told me he wants to be an Astronaut and if not an Astronaut then a motorcycle rider! I hope he aims for the stars and enjoys the ride!
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